"Bitch," whispered Ricardo, 
				jamming home the spring-feeder on the chamber of his ballspitter.
				
				Most of Abraxas' systems 
				-- power, gravity, helm -- had gone with the aliens' first 
				salvo.  At least we still had atmosphere.  I had been reviewing 
				manifests on the big wallscreen in the ready room when the 
				attack began, the bridge vacant for the first critical seconds 
				of combat.  That should have been all right, damn it.  The 
				aliens had never been seen within the Solar System before -- 
				troublesome as they were, they were considered a colonial 
				problem.  Traffic control doctrine called for civilian ships 
				like Abraxas to maintain a low-level defense posture, in 
				order to avoid messy accidents.
				
				I held on to that thought, a 
				bitter mantra against the blood-price our crew was paying.  A 
				blood-price I had earned them through my casual negligence.
				
				"Traitor."  He rotated the 
				locking collar on the gas cylinder.
				
				Ricardo had tethered himself 
				near one corner of the ready room to tinker with his ballspitter.  
				Hollow rubber bullets powered by compressed air -- one of the 
				few usable weapons on a starship, where high-velocity kinetics 
				and energy weapons both had fatal drawbacks.  Plus, with 
				practice you could shoot around corners.
				
				"Murderess."  He checked his 
				sighting, aiming the ballspitter at my face.
				
				Idiot was more like it, 
				but Ricardo didn't seem to require a response.  I just stared 
				back, willing him to shoot me, to shatter my forehead at two 
				hundred meters per second.  The ballspitter would kill an 
				unprotected human at short ranges -- messy, bruised death.
				
				Too bad the aliens wore 
				hardened vacuum armor.  Rubber balls didn't do much to them.  
				They didn't find blowing holes in a human ship's hull a 
				meaningful impediment either.  Me, I was armed with clenched 
				fists and regret.
				
				"You'll pay right along with 
				the rest of us."  Ricardo dropped his aim and went through his 
				weapon check all over again.
				
				Eventually our emergency 
				sticklights failed.  Banging noises occasionally carried through 
				the bulkheads.  A red grainbulb on the backup aircycler let me 
				know I hadn't gone blind.  Ricardo's breathing thundered in the 
				quiet dark, his ballspitter clicking as he worked through the 
				weapon check over and over and over.
				
				When the ready room's hatch 
				finally broke open, the noise was unbearable.  In flooding 
				pulses of colored light, I saw Ricardo push off from his corner, 
				ballspitter spewing like a supercargo at the end of a three-day 
				station leave.  I tried to scramble out from behind the galley 
				processor, tried to swarm the alien's armored bulk with my 
				fists, but I couldn't move.  I just couldn't make myself move.
				
				One of the aliens telescoped an 
				impossibly long arm through the spray of rubber bullets and 
				snapped Ricardo's neck.  I recovered from my paralysis to curl 
				into a fetal crouch as the balls bounced around the ready room, 
				working off their killing velocity in the spinning colored 
				lights.
				
				A telescoping arm grabbed my 
				neck, hard fingers choking me.  Nothing snapped, although as I 
				was towed weightless out of the room, two ribs cracked under 
				the impact of Ricardo's ammunition.
				
				I never even whimpered.
				*     
				*     *
				
				I lay naked on a deck, metal 
				cold against my back.  I was in the vehicle bay of Abraxas.  
				It had been completely stripped of equipment, from the shuttles 
				down to our suit racks.  Gravity had been restored along with 
				the lighting.  Every exit was covered with pink foam.  My chest 
				hurt like hell, a whopping bruise on one breast from Ricardo's 
				rubber balls to go along with the cracked ribs.  I wondered if I 
				was the only survivor of our crew.  Was there some way for me to 
				kill myself here?
				
				One of armored aliens lurched 
				across the bay toward me.  I tried to ignore it as I gently 
				explored my cracked ribs.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could 
				see it was almost three meters tall, bipedal, with two thick 
				armored arms and two more utility arms -- the extensors.  It 
				didn't have a head, just prominent bumps on the shoulders.
				
				It stood there, patient, 
				quiet.  A killer machine.  The silence eventually got my 
				attention, so I stopped ignoring the alien and looked toward it, 
				focusing on the black panels on the bumps.
				
				"Incurse domains racekind you," 
				the alien said.
				
				We didn't even know what the 
				aliens called themselves.  Humans hadn't intercepted enough 
				telemetry to crack their language.  The aliens had never 
				invested time in talking to us.  The few times humans had 
				captured an alien, it promptly died within the slagged interior 
				of its armor.  No human prisoner had ever escaped or been 
				returned.
				
				A cheerful thought given my 
				current circumstances.
				
				"I don't know."  I couldn't 
				keep the whine out of my voice.  "I don't understand 'incurse 
				domains.'  I don't even think 'incurse' is a word."
				
				The alien clucked at me for a 
				moment, a giant mechanical chicken.  "Formate this incursion 
				regular."
				
				I propped myself up on my 
				elbows.  "'Formate this incursion regular.'  That almost made 
				sense."  I started to laugh, falling back onto the deck.  "Where 
				did you learn English?  You think 'incurse' is the regular verb 
				form of 'incursion.'"
				
				Laughter took me, 
				uncontrollable, bringing shrieking pain to my ribs.  I couldn't 
				cry for Abraxas and her crew but I could laugh until I 
				threw up.  After a while the alien left me to my whooping 
				misery.
				*     
				*     *
				
				Later my alien brought me 
				food.  The supplies were obviously looted from Abraxas' 
				galley stores.  Four vacuum-sealed bags of cornmeal at five 
				kilos each, a three-liter tube of brine-packed olives and a 
				hundred-gram tube of cinnamon.  The ridiculous menu confirmed 
				the aliens didn't normally keep human prisoners.
				
				Maybe I wasn't slated to die.  
				Starve perhaps, but not be executed.  Hope springs eternal.
				
				"Thanks," I said as I tugged at 
				the olive tube.  I didn't have a cap-puller, but figured I could 
				get it out eventually.  Working on the olives distracted me from 
				the chill of the flight deck.  "Do you think I could get water, 
				and maybe some blankets?"
				
				My alien did something I'd 
				never heard of.  It folded down in its powered armor like an 
				anime toy until it was almost a cube on the deck.  The shoulder 
				bumps peeked at me from the top of the almost-cube.
				
				"Instantiate response speaker 
				righteous."
				
				I lay the olive tube in my 
				lap.  "What?"
				
				It clucked again.  My alien 
				almost sounded distressed.  "Generate response racekind 
				appropriate."
				
				"I think you mean, 'You're 
				welcome.'"
				
				"Instantiate welcome you 
				racekind."
				
				"Okay..."  Something about the 
				phrase bothered me.  "Racekind.  You used that term before.  
				That's you.  The aliens.  Whatever."
				
				"Instantiate response speaker 
				affirmative."
				
				My alien was starting to make 
				sense to me.  Which was scary in its own right.  "That would be 
				'yes,' right?"
				*     
				*     *
				
				Two days later, measured by the 
				light cycles on the flight deck, I'd gotten sick of olives and 
				cornmeal.  Still no water.  The brine in which the olives were 
				packed was hell to drink.  At least I got some moisture out of 
				the green flesh.  I figured I had another day or so before I was 
				incapacitated by thirst.  It seemed only fitting that I die with 
				the rest of the ship and crew.
				
				My alien came to me with three 
				others.  We'd been making progress, me and my almost-cubical 
				jailor.  By now I could recognize my alien by the wear patterns 
				on its powered armor.  Talking away the hours together, I'd even 
				gotten a little bit of the hang of its weird syntax  
				verb-object-subject-modifier.  My alien seemed to understand me, 
				mostly.
				
				Unfortunately, our 
				communication was like one of those low-level write-only 
				computer languages.  Just because my alien understood me didn't 
				mean I understood it.  And now apparently it was time for 
				somebody to prove something to somebody else.
				
				"Instantiate greeting you 
				racekind," said my alien.  It didn't fold into a cube.
				
				"Hi yourself."  With a cold 
				jolt in my spine, I remembered the sound of Ricardo's neck 
				snapping.  
				
				"Implement action you 
				requirement."
				
				That was relatively clear.  
				"You want me to do something."
				
				There was a short pause.  
				Perhaps they were talking by radio.  Or telepathy.  How the hell 
				would I know?
				
				"Intake transgression you 
				requirement," my alien said again.
				
				"You want me to intake a 
				transgression."
				
				My alien practically rattled 
				with excitement.  "Instantiate response speaker affirmative."
				
				"Right."  Sarcasm wouldn't 
				translate.  Hell, words barely did.  I shook my head.  "What the 
				hell do you think intaking a transgression actually means?"
				
				"Atone you transgression 
				requirement."
				
				"Atonement?  You want me to 
				atone.  For what?"
				
				"Consume trespass you 
				requirement."
				
				"Trespass?"  On what, I wanted 
				to say, but the context was clear enough.  "But we didn't invade 
				your territory.  We don't even know where your territory is."  
				Well, I didn't.  God only knew what the military got up to in 
				the dark between the stars.
				
				My alien rattled again, 
				actually squeaking.  "Mistaken you trespass comprehension."
				
				I sighed.  "Of course it was a 
				mistake.  No one meant to start a war with your racekind.  We 
				didn't know you existed until you started shooting up our 
				ships."
				
				There was long silence, as if 
				the aliens were exchanging glances.  I thought about what they 
				were trying to communicate to me.  Spiritual concepts such as 
				transgression and atonement.  It was like going to Fontevrault 
				Bible Church with my grandmother back in Caldwell County when I 
				was a kid.  Sermons full of blame and regret, fire and 
				brimstone, fit to move a child's bowels to water with fear of 
				the Lord.  Even now I could hear Brother Ellison's black leather 
				Bible slapping the soft pine lectern as women collapsed in the 
				aisles, shrieking in tongues.
				
				"Error you error error," my 
				alien blurted.
				
				"Error me error.  Your English 
				is getting worse."  It wasn't properly meaningful even in the 
				aliens' fractured syntax, but it did make sense.  Obviously I'd 
				misunderstood something important to my alien.
				
				"Consume trespass you 
				atonement," my alien said slowly, precisely.
				
				Okay, so trespass wasn't 
				the key here, at least not in the sense I understood it.  My 
				alien was shuffling concepts, trying to reach me in front of its 
				audience.  Try a different word.  Atonement?  It had said 
				requirement before.
				
				"Something you think I need to 
				do," I said.  "Something about my regrets."  My mind flashed on 
				Ricardo's final, doomed struggle in the ready room.  "I've got 
				regrets, all right, but I can't imagine you care."
				
				"Error you error error."  This 
				time my alien almost sounded urgent.  One of the other aliens 
				stirred.  Did that signal impatience in their body language, 
				too?  "Consume trespass you atonement."
				
				Trespass.  The key lay in that 
				word.  My alien didn't mean trespass in the sense of crossing 
				borders.  What else did that word mean?  Trespass as in 
				forgive us our trespasses?  Sins against God.  If that were 
				true, my alien would have fit right in at my grandmother's rural 
				Texas church.
				
				I had to chuckle at the 
				thought.  Not hardly.
				
				My grandmother would have 
				called consume trespass 'sin eating' -- one of those 
				weird country customs I'd worked my way into space to get away 
				from.  I was frustrated, thirsty, tired.  "Your trespass, my 
				trespass, who cares?  It's a whole damned war, not someone 
				sneaking across fence lines.  You want an apology, fine.  I'm 
				sorry!"
				
				"Error you error error."  Now 
				my alien somehow sounded defeated.  The other three aliens 
				rattled their extensor arms.  They were going to snap my neck, 
				just like Ricardo's.
				
				"I didn't do it," I shrieked.  
				"I'm so sorry."  I fought back a sob of panic.  "I've paid, I'll 
				pay again.  Whatever you want."  The hard, cold metal fingers 
				clasped my neck.  "I'll atone."  The fingers stopped, the 
				pressure on my throat relaxed.
				
				Oh for God's sake, was it 
				really about my grandmother and that leather Bible of Brother 
				Ellison's?  That was beyond bizarre.  But I was out of other 
				guesses.  "You want me to be a sin eater," I said, trying to 
				calm my shuddering breath.  "Take in the transgressions 
				of...us?  You?  This entire war?"
				
				My alien settled visibly, as if 
				the tension had drained out of it.  "Instantiate response 
				speaker affirmative."  The other three stopped, turned back to 
				face me.
				
				"All of our sins," I said.  
				"Into me."  God knew I had enough to atone for, but this was 
				bigger and stranger than even I had imagined.
				
				The four of them spoke the 
				words together, four flat, mechanical voices echoing in the 
				deserted flight bay.  "Instantiate response speaker 
				affirmative."
				
				You never escape your 
				childhood.  No one ever did.  Mine had followed me even here.  
				The Lord's Prayer thundering in my head, I wondered how in space 
				was I supposed to eat the sins of an entire war?  All I could 
				think to say was, "Could I please have some water?"
				*     
				*     *
				
				They came back, the same four, 
				my alien carrying three one-liter fluid bladders for ship's 
				stores.  One of the bladders was marked as water, the two 
				weren't -- they were normally used for non-potable applications.
				
				"Consume trespass you 
				interrogative?" said my alien.  It placed the two non-potable 
				bladders on the deck between us, then used its extensor to set 
				the water bladder to my left.  Cracked and dry as it was, my 
				mouth found some saliva.  I imaged that water flowing like life 
				itself down my parched, salty throat.  Baptism all over again.
				
				"What will happen?"  I touched 
				one of the bladders in front of me.  "Will this end the war?"  
				No more dead crews, no more broken ships.
				
				"Truncate hostilities mutuality 
				affirmative."
				
				"End the war.  Okay."  I had to 
				believe my alien.  I couldn't see why it would bother to trick 
				me, not when it held all the power between us.  Now I got 
				greedy.  "What about me?"
				
				"Consume trespass you 
				completion.  Consume trespass mutuality completion."
				
				That was the first time my 
				alien had ever used two sentences in a row in my hearing.  That 
				also wasn't much of an answer.  Completion and mutuality seemed 
				to be the key concepts.  Away from the Bible, back to politics.
				
				Aha.
				
				"We do it together, you and I.  
				All of it, to the end.  Right?"  I pointed at the bladders 
				between us to make my meaning clear.
				
				"Instantiate response speaker 
				affirmative," said my alien.  Yes.
				
				"And the war is over?  
				Everybody goes home, we make nice, have a treaty, send kids to 
				each other's universities."
				
				My alien didn't answer.  It 
				pushed one of the non-potable bladders toward me, then folded 
				into its almost-cube shape, the bump peeking at me.  An extensor 
				arm grabbed the other non-potable bladder.  My alien's armored 
				cube hissed, then one of the panels folded back to extrude a 
				small funnel.  It popped open the valve on the bladder and 
				paused.
				
				I took the hint and popped 
				mine.  I sniffed the opening.  It smelled like blood and machine 
				oil mixed together.
				
				What had they done with Ricardo 
				and the rest of the crew?  My stomach kicked as I threw up 
				mangled olives and pasty chunks of cornmeal.  Wiping my lips, I 
				stared longingly at the liter of water they had given me.  I had 
				failed twice -- failed to raise the defenses, failed to fight 
				when the aliens had finally come for me.
				
				To hell with my alien.  I would 
				do this for Ricardo and the rest of the crew.  My mouth already 
				tasted horrible, the flavor of my guilty soul.  The sin-eater, 
				taking the wars of worlds within me.
				
				Grandmother would have been 
				proud.
				
				"To peace," I said, tilting the 
				bladder and pouring the ghastly mess into my mouth in a perverse 
				Communion.
				
				My alien drained its bladder as 
				I choked mine down in salty, oily gulps.  My stomach kept 
				heaving, but I finished the entire liter.
				
				Then I threw up again, oil and 
				bile and blood.  As I retched, my alien rocked in its cube, 
				smoke issuing from the armored seams until the cube deformed 
				slightly and the bump collapsed.
				*     
				*     *
				
				When I could again focus 
				sufficiently to pay attention, I found the other aliens had 
				departed.  Along with the armored shell of my alien, they 
				had left hundreds of liter-bladders of water on the deck 
				arranged in a spiral around me and the wreckage of my alien.
				
				In my fever I lost count of my 
				sleep cycles, long after my food ran out.  Eventually a human 
				crew came alien-hunting.  I lay curled around one corner of the 
				ruined armored cube, counting light sources in the ceiling.  A 
				tall woman walked up to me, her boots near my face.  She bent 
				down to touch my neck.
				
				"Can you hear me?" she asked.
				
				I tried, I swear to God I tried 
				to answer her.  The war was over, we had a truce, we could make 
				a treaty, my neglect hadn't killed Abraxas and her crew 
				for nothing.  I had taken the ultimate Communion.  I had drunk 
				the mixed wine of our blood and theirs.  I had eaten the sins of 
				two cultures.  Words crowded my head, fighting to spill out.  
				All I could say was, "Truncate hostilities mutuality 
				affirmative."
				
				She looked up at someone I 
				couldn't see.  "Medic!"
				
				"Instantiate treaty mutuality 
				affirmative," I told her.  It was desperately important, but she 
				wouldn't listen.  She didn't understand.  She didn't believe me.
				
				At least she held my hand.
				 
				 
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